Speech from the Skull and Crossbones in Standard English
Pardon me, hold on a minute. You have no time left to change your direction, dear companions, and there are pirates intent on theft moving stealthily in each cavern who would like to join you on your ship. Snuggle close to one another and do not put your red hands over the edge of the boat. This is the best advice for people who want to push back those who might want to pay you rent in exchange for a place to stay and food. Also, you should note what I say, dear companions, when I tell you that those males who are no longer alive are no good at telling stories. Ho, ho, ho.You have arrived looking for excitement and aging, saline-tainted pirates, yes? Well, you've sure come to the right place! However, I recommend that you refrain from closing your eyes and stare into the wind, dear companions, and use both hands to steady yourself, if you like. There are squirrels a short distance from here in the direction we are traveling, as well as a small locking storage cabinet belonging to the Monkees tambourine player who is waiting in anticipation of those who do not heed my advice. Ho, ho, ho.
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